FUCK THEM

Man something got me going tonight and I decided to just write it all out.. Some people might not like what I have to say, but read the title again if you are one of those people, because you can disrespectfully go fuck off.

I am enough….

This sentiment screams in the back of mind constantly. I affirm it as much as I can. I guess I think if I say it enough I will actually believe it. I will be the person who practices what she preaches. I encourage women and men every day to accept themselves for who they are. I BELIEVE completely that you should but I also understand that we aren’t always happy 100% of the time and yes, that includes how we look. WE ARE spiritual beings having a human experience and sometimes our human bodies are not what we want them to be; they aren’t what other people think they should be either and those people sometimes vocalize because that pea sized organ in their skull does not filter anything that comes out of their mouths or out of their finger tips to type stupid shit.

Where do I even start? Oh yeah, I know… The DOUCHEBAG part.

I am going to say it with my whole chest.. FUCK THEM! The problem is they do not think they are wrong. Their ego won’t allow them. They have no idea each person’s individual story and yet their opinion of other people’s bodies must count for something right? RIGHT?!! WRONG! It doesn’t. Your body doesn’t even affect these people themselves unless it is for their own viewing pleasure. And even that lasts what a few seconds? A few minutes? Maybe a few hours? Our bodies aren’t here for anyone to just lust after, it is here to give our souls the shell they need to guide them on this human experience. Our bodies carry us through some of the hardest moments in our lives, they bring us through some of the best moments too. It is you and you can’t separate yourself from who you are no matter who or what approves of what the outside looks like.

Fuck them for ever making YOU feel like you’re inadequate. FUCK THEM for having an opinion about YOUR body. FUCK THEM for rehashing years of damage that you have tried healing from. You thought you have healed and then comments like “women who take care of themselves” like that is a size found on a rack in a store. But again, how can you convince someone to understand that not every person is the same? That no matter how much exercise or dieting someone does that sometimes their body has been through so much that it just doesn’t change. YOU THINK THE PEOPLE WHO TRY SO HARD TO ACCOMPLISH SOME VERSION OF YOUR IDEA OF PERFECTION DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT ALREADY? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO SAY ANYTHING?

The only thing you can do is take every hurtful word, every harsh statement, every incorrect judgement, and you use that to give yourself love. You give yourself the love that you tried so hard to get from everyone else. The love that was never going to come to you from those people, because YOU DO NOT NEED THEIR ACCEPTANCE, OR THEIR VALIDATION, OR THEIR FUCKING APPROVAL. The only person that matters in your life, is YOU.

In your heart of hearts, what do you think of you? Tear down all the negativity and all the pain that you have received at the hands of those who have tried to break you. How do you feel about you? Are you a good person? Do you love big? Do you express that to whomever you can? Do you use your words to lift up others? Are your thoughts benefiting others and not hurting them? Do you see in the mirror the beautiful woman or man that gives to everyone else and puts themselves last (and that probably contributes a lot to your pain in the first place)?

Do you see the woman who has birthed children, maybe had a hysterectomy, has thyroid problems and fights like hell everyday not to unravel? Do you see the woman with a heart so huge that she will do anything to help anyone? Do you see the soul who has dreams and she is fulfilling every single one of them? Do you see the woman who has courage to knock down every bit of self doubt that most people wouldn’t even try to conquer because they fucking fell in line their whole lives and never really lived? Because there is way more beauty in the former than the latter.

BUT…BUT…BUT “gIrL, yOuR bOdY” (and by girl, I mean men too always including my guys too)

My body WHAT!? 

It doesn’t measure up. It is not “super thin or super athletic, or super toned, or super thick”. Then you get “too skinny, too big, too short, too tall, too muscular, too flabby”. Fucking make up our damn minds. Whatever delusion that those type of people live with, just remember it doesn’t mean that we don’t take care of ourselves and that we aren’t beautiful and that we don’t deserve to FEEL beautiful. Even if it is just one damn day. Because you can bet your sweet ass someone is going to come and ruin it with their bullshit opinion of us and make us feel like crap again. But when we get to look at our photos, we get taken back to the FEELING we had that day. The feeling of that moment, and somehow someway everything feels good right then. The beauty that we saw during our sessions and nothing can take that from us. Because WE DO DESERVE TO FEEL THAT WAY. We all do. And we will continue this as our mission in my studio until I cannot physically do it anymore.

So stop hurting yourself by trying to gain the acceptance of people who cannot see past the vanity and never will. Stop trying to obtain an imagination level love that never existed. Give that all to yourself. Give yourself everything you worked so hard and fought so hard to give to everyone else. You are the one who deserves it.

And if that type of beauty is not for you, then kindly step aside and mind your own fucking business. WE are not your business, I… am not your business. Our bodies aren’t here for you. Your words are just words now. They have always just been words. They don’t hurt anymore. But if it makes you feel any better, say what you want anyway, and say it with your whole ego, but just know that whatever this is in you is IN YOU and you get to carry that with you. THAT MISERY IS YOURS. Some things never change no matter what, and I will never be shocked by that.

And this whole blog post is exactly what I am here for. We are healing and thriving and nothing or NOBODY will ever have an opinion that will determine our worth ever, EVER again.

XOXOXO,

Tiffany

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